Long Nguyen

Why Is My Voicemail Gone?

Since three days ago, anybody who called me while I was unavailable, were able to listen to a very long unpleasant rant about not leaving me a message that I wouldn’t listen to. That is the first reason why I did; I don’t listen to voicemail anyway.

It was after I read Michael Arrington’s Think Before You Voicemail, that I changed my voicemail. His article actually made me think about the fax machine before I thought about voicemail. What happened to fax? Are they used anymore? At all? I understand that it is useful to use it to send a signed document, but anything that can be faxed can also be scanned to a computer and be sent by email. That allows to save paper and to receive all mail in one place. Email is also searchable and portable. On top of it, you will never wonder where you put the documents you received, it’s in your email.

I’m aware that many offices still use fax machines, especially when dealing with people who are far away from each other. However, there is simply no reason to spend extra money, however little, extra effort, and extra time on something to which there is a much better alternative.

For voicemail, there are at least two other alternatives: email and SMS.

Michael Arrington’s Think Before You Voicemail starts with “Voicemail is dead” which is dead wrong. The statement should be “Voicemail must die”.

There are different types of voicemail: home, office, mobile, or some mixture of any of those.

It makes perfect sense to have voicemail at home in case you receive a call in your absence. However, it’s ridiculous to have it if you have a cell phone. Whoever is calling you home while you are absent wants to talk to you now, so the next number they dial will be your cell phone.

It makes no sense to have voicemail at the office. If you work in an office, you should have internet access which grants you email access, unless the company blocked that, in which case, quit and find another job. It’s 2008, a company without those basic features isn’t really a company at all. The only valid excuse is that they just moved in a new office and they are waiting for the ISP to do their thing. With email, you don’t need voicemail. Anything said to you can be typed to you. In the office environment, you can receive a lot of voicemail and email. Maybe you aren’t like me, but I would rather receive a lot of only one of those things and my choice is email. Email is searchable, classifiable and most importantly, you don’t have to go through seven messages before you can get to the eighth.

The last type of voicemail is mobile and again it makes no sense to have it. Every cell phone supports SMS, unless your using a phone that was released before 1998, in which case, I would be impressed that it still works today. It’s quicker to read a text message than to listen to a voice message, especially when you have to go through four messages before you get to the one you want to listen to. Since SMS are limited to 160 characters, the next best thing is email. However, this alternative to voicemail is better reserved for those who have set their mobile device to receive emails or those who check their email often.

To sum up, there is only one context in which voicemail is useful and that’s at home for people who don’t have a cell phone. That’s it. For the rest, there is no use for it. Voicemail and tapes share one thing in common: you have to go through a lot of content before getting what you want. Visual voicemail has improved the system, but it’s only available for Apple’s iPhone and Samsung’s Instinct.

You will find that many people share the sentiment of contempt towards voicemail.

My voicemail message goes something like: “Hey! How are you? Not so well huh? You called me and I’m not answering. I have caller ID so I know who you are, unless you blocked your number which I think is dumb. If you really need to tell me something now, find my email address on longzero.com or send me a text message. Do not leave a message. I will not listen to it anyway. See you later, or never.”

Of course, I’m unfriendly. I also say that in French and the whole message is a little over a minute long. It’s shorter than I intended, but much longer than typical messages. Hopefully, people will hang up before the message ends.

If you block your number, you are dumb. If you leave me a voicemail, you are wasting your time. If you send me an email, you have all my attention. If I pick up when you call, you have my attention.

Facing a blocked number is one of my pet peeves, but that’s another topic that I might write about later, or never.